Forgiveness as a way of letting go

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Trauma

There was a recent event involving another person that made me feel both hurt and angry—for the day. I could have stayed hurt and angry longer, carrying the grudge with me through the years; in the past, I would likely have done this. However, since my recent adventure, Coaching Happiness with Robert Holden, and with all the personal discoveries I have been making, it easier to shift my way of thinking.

Emotional validation

The first thing I did was acknowledge my feelings of hurt and anger, and expressed them (hopefully non-threateningly) to the individual, along with the reason why I felt this way. In the past, I might have disregarded these feelings to avoid conflict.

mirror

Forgiveness

When I awoke after a fairly restless sleep, my word for the day popped into my head: forgiveness. I put my meditative tape on—no, that was not going to help. I shifted to listening to Don Miguel Ruiz’s Voice of Knowledge. I started with the prayer, then let the device randomly select the chapter: Finding Inner Peace. After listening to it, I knew what I had to do.

The message

I recognize this as an opportunity to practice compassion and forgiveness. It could be said that you did not hurt me personally, so there is really nothing to forgive. The human side of me still feels there is something to forgive, for I do not want to carry around anger and resentment. It is unmet expectations that I shall let go of.

I am reminded of a message from A Course In Miracles: We do not heal alone. To this individual, I hope that you will be able to find it in your heart the ability to forgive yourself. Remember you are a good person and are perfect just the way you are.

Mirror Mirror

From the course, one of the greatest gifts for me was the question, “What do you most need to hear today?” I asked my self that. Then I looked in the mirror and said, “Wendy, life loves you. You are supported. All will work out for your highest and best good. Life is abundant. All is well.” Thank you Louise Hay for your guidance on mirror work.

Why is this happening for me?

Why is this happening for me? This is my favourite question from Robert Holden. Today, life gave me an opportunity to forgive. Peggy, a woman on the course, asked Robert, “How do you know when you have forgiven?” Robert said it is when we do not feel the negative charge when we think about or mention the event.

I knew that I really had forgiven because there was no charge. The anger and hurt was gone.