Life on Life's Terms

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In a recent Robert Ohotto ( course on Saturn in Aquarius, Robert asked the question,

"Can you accept life on Life's terms?"

There are many days, more so of late, where it has been really challenging to accept life on Life's terms.  My Life path is presently very undulating.  Not having the same amount of energy to be as physically active as I was a year ago, has shifted where I put my time.  Exercise consists of Qigong, walking, and recently added (much needed) yoga.  Kayaking and hiking with friends is rare and depends on my energy level. This from a person who a decade ago completed a half ironman. Self-reflection and other healing practices now fill up much of my day.  I do allow myself the flexibility to flow with the day.  Most days I read from 365 Tao, Daily Meditations, by Deng Ming-Dao. I like the one from day 125, Resolve: 

Banish uncertainty. 

Affirm strength. 

Hold resolve. 

Expect death. 

"Make your stand today. On this spot. On this day. make your actions count; do not falter in your determination to fulfill your destiny...Create your own. Your resolve to tread the path of life is your best asset. Without it, you die. Death is unavoidable, but let it not be from loss of will but because your time is over..." 

My interest in Spirituality started very young. I would attend the Unitarians with my mother. It was at the local public school. The best part for me was getting to play in the gym.  About age 6, I got a note from my mother, so I could sit in the hall with my Jewish friend Anthony, during the Lord's Prayer and the bible reading. I didn't know what it meant to be Jewish, but I didn't want him to be alone in the hall, so I said that I didn't believe in God either. Out of curiosity, I would attend different church ceremonies with my friends. My exposure to Zen and Buddhism was through my father.  

GoJu Karate was my gateway to meditation and Tai Chi. The Seeker in me, wanted to discover more about the 95% of the Universe that isn't matter. I knew what I didn't believe. I didn't know what I believed.  And actual knowing feels like light years away. 


I was a Spiritual Drifter. An intensive period of study and practice, was followed by the absence of a spiritual practice. Life got too busy.  


"You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you are too busy;

Then you should sit in meditation for an hour." (Zen)

Daily journaling is non-negotiable.  It is my time to have a conversation with the Divine. Sometimes, I do this in the morning. Sometimes, I do this at the end of my day. There are days, that I write both in the morning and the evening. At the time of my diagnosis, I started practicing Qigong. I now do a zoom Qigong session with my father 3-4 times a week. We spend about 20 minutes doing the Qigong together, and another 20-40 minutes just chatting.  I have not visited with my family back in Ontario since October 2019. This is in part because of Covid 19, as well as, the diagnosis of stage IV colon cancer. 

Not working has afforded me more time to do these activities. I am on a healing journey at the moment.  Each morning I wake, is a new day, that will never come again (Thomas Merton). Some days, I have what feels like an abundance of energy. These are the days that I am more active doing the household chores, along with maybe a hike or kayak. Other days, the energy system is low. More rest is needed. I might do one or two gentle walks with Bauer (dog) in addition to reading, writing, meditation, qigong. Each day is different. This is part of what I do consider to be "accepting life on Life's terms." 

Life on Life's terms right now, means that I can't be there for everyone else, without depleting my energy resources needed for healing. Healing is a full- time commitment. It requires my conscious awareness of when I am falling into old patterns and habits, that no longer serve me. It requires refiring and rewiring something new. I can no longer run optimally using the outdated operational system. This is a reboot. This is where the Joe Dispeza's meditations are beneficial. 

During this time off work, I have submerged myself deeper into the world of Astrology, through the work of Robert O'hotto, as well as Michele Marie ( Michele did a consultation with me January 6, 2020. Two weeks before the diagnosis. As far as my health went, I was feeling the best that I had in my whole adult life.  Apparently, she saw something coming as both Pluto and Saturn were entering my 6th house (health). Part of "accepting life on Life's terms" for me is to accept that the diagnosis of cancer was part of my Soul Contract. What is ahead for me, I do not know. 

Annette, who I met on the Mystical Tour of Spain, said to me:

What is meant for you, will not pass you by. 

Is this accepting life on Life's terms?  Accepting that what comes into my life, was meant for me. That what comes into my life, is the answer to my prayers, even if it is something that isn't what I was expecting. Robert Ohotto, tells me that this is true. 

"Each day, your life grows shorter by twenty-four hours. The time to make achievements becomes more precious...Your life is a creation that dies when you die...Until that moment, create the poetry of your life." (365 Tao)

As I have learned through Caroline Myss, there are Mystical/Universal Laws. Two of these are the law of creation and the law of destruction. Everything that is created, will be destroyed. Nothing that we know of is permanent. We can create for better or for worse. We can create for the good of one, or the good of the whole. We are the ones who get to choose how we create and how we apply what we create. I do not believe in an "off plant God who is going to save us." I do believe that I can plug into this Universal Divine energy source for strength and guidance.  That is what I see myself doing when I recite this prayer: 

Be, O Lord

Within me to strengthen me.

Without me to guard me. 

Over me, to shelter me. 

Beneath me, to stablish me. 

Before me, to guide me. Ro

After me, to forward me. 

Round me, to secure me

                                                         Lancelot Andrew 

Accepting life on Life's terms for me, means accepting the possibility of death. While I had a vision of playing ice hockey at the age of 85, there I days now that I wonder if this is how I will feel at 85. Some days, it feels like death would be easier, but I still have a strong will to live. So, if I do die, it will be simply because it was my time.