Who is Answering?
Seven years ago, I was motivated and driven to be successful. Start Line Physiotherapy, the clinical practice I had created was growing. What started out as a quiet, spa like clinic, became a busy business. We expanded the size of the clinic as well as the number of therapists.
Physical injury brought clients to me, but my passion was for presenting to educate. It was a dream to be able to earn a living from doing presentations. The "get 'er done" part of me, took over. I was ambitious. The business coach I was working with suggested if I was going to attempt to get on the speaking circuit, I would need a book. I wrote and self-published a book within the year. Most of my presentations were unpaid ventures, so physiotherapy remained my primary source of income.
As I relistened to Authentic Success, by Robert Holden, the question, "What do you want?", was heard with different ears. This is because, two years ago, Robert Ohotto (a different Robert), introduced me to some of my Shadow Archetypes. I got to meet and know my Co-dependent, Blood Donor, and my Shadow Rescuer, to name a few. Trust me, there are more.
Answering, "What do you want?" now depended on which patterned aspect of myself was activated. If the "Wounded Ego" aspect of myself was to answer, then the answer would come from the perspective that I was not enough. What I wanted would be everything that I thought would get to me being enough. The Wounded Ego, part of myself wants the fame and fortune of being a sought after speaking/presenter. My Wounded Ego is willing to work itself to death if that is what it would take to get there.
That isn't what my Soul wants though. And if my Mystical Teacher/Mentor/Guide have any say in the matter, it is that I am already enough. That there is no need to "supersize" or inflate myself to have meaning and purpose. My soul is content to get up every morning, and do the spiritual practice of reading and writing. My soul is being guided to share some of my insights through writing these blog posts. My soul is loving being at home with Bauer (my dog), surrounded by the beauty of Vancouver Island.
Part of my healing journey, led by Robert Ohotto, has been the process of deactivating my dominant shadow archetypes, and to active my Mystical team. Robert Ohotto teaches, "Change your patterns, change your life." The ghosts of my Wounded Ego, Shadow Rescuer, Co-dependent, and Blood Donor still linger. Though they are no longer the driving forces in my life. When I let my Queen drive the bus, she doesn't let the Shadow Victims, Vampires or Narcissistic Bullies on the bus. It is a much more peaceful ride.
If you are feeling stuck in a pattern, I do recommend you learn more about archetypes. Especially if you are struggling with the Wounded Ego esteem of, "I am not enough." I know I cannot heal using the same patterns that got me here. To where it became a matter of life or death. Illness can be a call for change. The path of change is not easy. It is unfamiliar, overgrown, and often hard to see. The path of change can be anxiety provoking. The discoveries you can make about yourself, and clearing the way to feeling truly enough, is worth taking "the road less travelled."