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"What would you do if you only had 15 minutes to live?" It wasn't the question from Dr. Bernie Siegel, but rather my answer that started the neurosynaptic reflection process. I wondered, "What is it about joy or lack of joy, that affects a person's overall well-being?"

Many people were as surprised about me being diagnosed with cancer as I was. Perhaps it was because if it could happen to me, it could happen to them. That was how I felt by the death of Laura Harris. She was just fifty-three (my age now). She was active and outgoing. It was her death almost 12 years ago, that taught me not to wait to live life. She also taught me to swim better, helping me to make it through the 1.5 km half-ironman swim. How does someone not take cancer personally, when it has so much potential to lead to death? 

Who am I really? How am I meant to serve the greater good? What will I do with the rest of my life? These are just a few of the questions that continue to wash over me, as I sit in that row boat, in the middle of the ocean surrounded by the fog.